Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Home in Stay-at-Home-Mom

   Here in the Midwest we're still fighting against winter weather, waiting patiently... no, more like desperately for spring to settle in for good. And I my friends have cabin fever. The baby is even spending longer and longer each day staring wistfully out the window as if to say "please Mommy... can't we go out to play?" and he's never played outside before, what with being seven months young and all.

   I spent a ridiculous amount of time theses past few days comparison shopping online for a new carseat (and can I just say those things are ridiculous... $300.00 for a plastic seat that will "expire" in a few years) and although there is genuinely a need for me to being thinking about the next size up I think part of my obsession has to do with this feeling that when I buy said carseat I will somehow magically feel more comfortable with picking up and heading out of the house on a more regular basis. It's a mind trick I'm playing on myself and though I am aware of it, I can't seem to break through the allure of the next new purchase that's going to make my life simple. The truth of the matter is that leaving the house with baby in tow is always going to be a challenge and a new carseat, diaper bag, hand-cranked baby food grinder, etc. isn't going to get me on the other side of that door if I keep thinking it's going to be a piece of cake due to their presence alone. Not even warmth and sunshine will do the trick. The only thing that makes difficult tasks easier is repetition.

   So here's my confession... I have allowed myself to become a hermit. It's easy to pretend that I get out a lot, because I do leave the house from time to time... but almost never with the baby unless the husband is going too. The idea of grocery shopping just me and the little one is tortuous... actually, pretty much any activity involving me and the baby out and about together, just the two of us, stresses me out enough that I will come up with just about any excuse to avoid it. The exception to this otherwise rule is when I know for sure someone else will be anxiously awaiting our arrival for a visit, someone who just can't wait to get their hands on him... because then? I'm not juggling him and all of his stuff alone.

   Anyone have any advice on this? Was adjusting to being a stay-at-home parent difficult in terms of the whole, you know, being at home thing? Did getting out get easier as your child(ren) got older?


  1. If I had a kid I would hesitate too about 'carting' it everywhere to do the weekly shopping and so forth. I am a germaphobe so I would have to carry tons of anti-bacterial wipes with me.

  2. My first baby, Harley hated being inside and loved being out anywhere so we were always in the park, zoo and walking around somewhere but we lived in London so it was fascinating just walking around. The second, third and fourth kids I did the Contented Little Baby Book regime, so they napped a lot. Still I found it a very solitary life for many hours and unless I met up with friends, very much inside my head. I lived for our two nights out a week without the kids, we spent loads on babysitting but must say best money ever spent. Plus you look absolutely fantastic and very groovy in that jacket!

  3. I wish that I could offer words of wisdom, though I cannot! I just called my mom in, however, and she told me to tell you this:

    It never gets easier, but you do adjust.. You seem like such a sweet girl, and I assure you, there will be little adventures at home and as you grow!

  4. Thank you all for your words of encouragement.It means a lot to me.

    I have been making a concerted effort to push through my discomfort in this area since writing out my feelings on it... sometimes I don't know there's a problem at all until I'm already half way through articulating it to someone else be it through writing or talking in person. But now that I'm aware it can only get better from here!

  5. Hey, I just read this post today. I wanted to tell you that while leaving the house with a baby never gets more convenient, it does get less complicated when they get older. Right now you are still hauling the carrier, the bag, the bottles, and having to stop and feed him everywhere. When B and I go out now, he can walk holding my hand, he fits in every shopping cart, and I can hand him a snack bag to feed himself 'people food' while we drive, and not miss a beat. When we go out, I bring one diaper and a pack of wipes, just in case. So, while I am now constantly needing to keep him from running into parking lots, he is far more portable and independent. But at 7 months, I would grocery shop at 9pm, so that I didn't have to leave the house with him. It can be overwhelming, but you are in an in-between phase that will pass. Hang in there!!


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