Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Home in Stay-at-Home-Mom

   Here in the Midwest we're still fighting against winter weather, waiting patiently... no, more like desperately for spring to settle in for good. And I my friends have cabin fever. The baby is even spending longer and longer each day staring wistfully out the window as if to say "please Mommy... can't we go out to play?" and he's never played outside before, what with being seven months young and all.

   I spent a ridiculous amount of time theses past few days comparison shopping online for a new carseat (and can I just say those things are ridiculous... $300.00 for a plastic seat that will "expire" in a few years) and although there is genuinely a need for me to being thinking about the next size up I think part of my obsession has to do with this feeling that when I buy said carseat I will somehow magically feel more comfortable with picking up and heading out of the house on a more regular basis. It's a mind trick I'm playing on myself and though I am aware of it, I can't seem to break through the allure of the next new purchase that's going to make my life simple. The truth of the matter is that leaving the house with baby in tow is always going to be a challenge and a new carseat, diaper bag, hand-cranked baby food grinder, etc. isn't going to get me on the other side of that door if I keep thinking it's going to be a piece of cake due to their presence alone. Not even warmth and sunshine will do the trick. The only thing that makes difficult tasks easier is repetition.

   So here's my confession... I have allowed myself to become a hermit. It's easy to pretend that I get out a lot, because I do leave the house from time to time... but almost never with the baby unless the husband is going too. The idea of grocery shopping just me and the little one is tortuous... actually, pretty much any activity involving me and the baby out and about together, just the two of us, stresses me out enough that I will come up with just about any excuse to avoid it. The exception to this otherwise rule is when I know for sure someone else will be anxiously awaiting our arrival for a visit, someone who just can't wait to get their hands on him... because then? I'm not juggling him and all of his stuff alone.


   Anyone have any advice on this? Was adjusting to being a stay-at-home parent difficult in terms of the whole, you know, being at home thing? Did getting out get easier as your child(ren) got older?






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