Taking the Leap....

This blog has been a long time coming. I have been emailing myself snippets, quotes, inspirations and topic reminders for well over a year now in preparation for that much awaited "someday" when I would finally "go live" as a real life blogger. I have had this idealized vision in my head of what I wanted it to be, a final product, a vibe, a cohesive representation, a beautifully executed glass house well equipped with the necessary blind spots to hide my more unpleasant idiosyncrasies from the readers I assumed it would attract. The thing is that, that blog wasn't meant to exist... had I been willing to dedicate the amount of time a project of that magnitude would require, several years from now I would have wound up with a very time consuming and even more boring, uninspiring blog. I explained to my husband on many occasion that as much as I wanted to engage my love of writing in this new venture I couldn't begin yet; not until my blog had the right name. I was truly convinced that I was ready to go in every other aspect and was simply lacking a title worthy of long term commitment... you know, because, in the event that my blog went on to be a high traffic web destination I wouldn't want to end up regretting an unfortunate name chosen in haste or on a momentary whim.

As it so often turns out I have assigned a disproportionate level of importance to a detail that has little to do with my end goal.

I have spent a good deal of my life trying to solidify in my own my mind, as well as the minds of others, the belief that I am a truly unique and valuable individual. At the same time I have been painfully aware that in and of itself this desire puts me among the vast majority of people who are striving for the same thing making me the opposite of unique. So based on that admission you can now easily pinpoint the origin of my "name" dilemma.

So here it is. 'Taxidermy Worms' is a random band name that popped into my head a while back (and currently holds the esteemed position of my avatar's moniker in the embarrassingly addictive Rock Band video game). The name has been rolling around my brain ever since. I never seriously considered this title as an option for my oh-so-important blog as it lacked depth of meaning and try as I may I was unable to invent one where there hadn't been before. Maybe someday a deeper reason behind my affinity for this combo of words will reveal itself to me but for now I present myself to you (the internet) as yet another blogger with a not-so-much-clever-as-catchy name writing in hope of adding something of value to the world wide web.... or maybe just the world. I will come up with something equally as odd if I ever get around to learning to play an actual instrument and starting a band, since this is now taken.

In addition to the title conundrum I have been going back and forth on several other blog related decisions internally for some time. I told myself these were issues I could figure out as I went along but in an insomnia-induced moment of clarity I realized that the name itself made no difference to me, the real issues at hand were whether I would attempt to anonymize myself and more importantly if I was going to join the ranks of the "mommy bloggers" by discussing my son (and future children) on my blog... and if so what do I feel is okay to write about in terms of children who do not yet have the ability to discern for themselves what they do and do not want posted about them on the internet? One thing I have internalized from having a computer genius as a husband is that everything.... every little tiny thing that you post on the internet can be traced back to you with enough effort and expertize. With that in mind I have decided I am not going to go the anonymous route, or create some awesome alter-ego 'stage' name, although I have to admit it does sound mighty exciting in that "I am a woman of mystery and intrigue" sort of way. In contemplating that option I found myself skating dangerously close to that original impulse go all out and invent an entirely false version of myself, since you know, I'd be playing at the anonymity game anyways. That route, I believe would only take me away from the true point of this blog, which is real honest vulnerability to the purpose of uncovering truth and beauty. A place to reflect, purge, and most importantly grow.

Where, then, does that put me on the issue of logging the on-goings of my offspring in such a permanent and unforgiving venue? Well, to be honest, I have a feeling that there will be much evolving over time in my stance on this issue since it's far to early for any of us to know the ramifications of this form of "record keeping" on this upcoming generation and on our children as individuals. For now I will simply run everything I post through the "how would I like the world to know I did _________ as a baby (kid)" filter in my brain before posting. Of course you can also rest assured knowing I will not be posting details such as locations, dates, and times of upcoming events for the safety of everyone involved.

I feel the need to give advanced warning... yes; this blog will likely delve into everything from religion, to politics, fashion, culture/media, parenting, art, history, leadership, marriage, housekeeping (or my foiled attempts at housekeeping, I should say) and likely a lot of nonsense. I do not claim to know everything about even one of these topics much less all of them, and there will more than likely be times when I am proven wrong upon posting an opinion or personal belief. I welcome different perspectives and understand that many will disagree with me; I would however like to state here and now that while I am open to discussion, I am not the debating kind... I find that debates only entrench those engaged further into their original viewpoints.

Bearing all this in mind I welcome you to join me on this journey! I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I intend to!

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