Monday, June 4, 2012

Home. Again.

   This late spring / early summer has quickly turned into one of those seasons in my life where I am constantly "on". Constantly social. Interacting. Having fun, being busy, enjoying every minute of it, but at the same time feeling the effects of my slowly recharging tank. I am like one of those cell phones that takes ages to charge back up to 100% and is notifying you that it's below 25% again only a few short hours after you unhooked it from the wall, car or computer. That being said, I am totally and completely off the wagon. All of the wagons. And I need to fess up to that fact, for my own conscience, before I can go back to posting deep ponderings, pictures of my recent outfits or anything in between. I have been neglecting both my daily checklist and my Mental Fitness Challenge for several weeks now, and as such my writing and reading has quickly fallen by the wayside. When I have written anything it has been a journal entry which, while cathartic, does nothing to propel me towards my personal goals or get me any closer to fulfilling my calling. So, here I am, back where it all started. This chapter in the book of my life where I became something I had always hoped to be, a writer.

   It's funny how when I talk to people face to face outside this world of blogging and social networking, I feel the need to convince them of the validity of blogging as worthy endeavor, as something more than a hobby, before I confess to being a blogger. But blogging, in a way has saved me. Why should I shy away from associating myself to something that has so profoundly changed how I see myself as a person? Sure, it's just written words on a computer screen, just another voice out the in the vastness of the worldwide web... but to me, it turned me into the person I had always visualized myself as being in my head. Not the exact way I had envisioned it. A different path to the same destination, but still actively starting this blog shifted something in me, internally, from reading "aspiring writer" to plain and simple "writer". And so, naturally, when I get off track in any area of my life, this is the very first place I come. This is the only action step I have found that works to set off the chain reaction of dominoes falling, hopefully into place. A place where I know I belong.

I am home.

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