Monday, April 8, 2013

Schizophrenic Style: Midwest Irreverence

   It is finally spring here in the Midwest! ...or maybe it'll snow three days from now. Who knows? But either way these last few days have been beautiful and yesterday I felt recovered enough after having the head cold from hell, that I actually spent a good amount of time outdoors. I figured though, that since nothing is really green yet and there are still a few crumpled leaves lying around here and there that managed to not decompose entirely underneath all that snow... I could wear some of my best fall weather gear with even less guilt than I normally feel (which is pretty much none).

   Recently I became the proud owner of this gorgeous pair of Jefferey Campbell Damsels by way of a lucky Ebay win and one missing spike. I've been drooling over the Lita and Damsel collections for months and months but just couldn't justify the price tag, so when I saw a listing for a barely damaged floor model pair I had to snatch them up. This is the first time I've had a chance to get some photos of them with my real camera... it feels a little ridiculous gushing over them this way in type, but sometimes there are just things, material possessions... silly stuff like in this case shoes, that just make you feel giddy without some deep meaningful explanation. These are very much that way for me. I've got no reasons, just very happy feet.

   We went for a little walk around my in-laws neighborhood and let Bastian try out some of his new toy cars he got in his Easter basket from them earlier that morning. We had him in his coat for good measure since we've all been pretty under the weather, but it wasn't really necessary. After our walk and mini outfit shoot I sat on their front porch working on my Bible study homework for our evening group and I honestly got a bit overheated in the direct sunlight and had to shift to a shadier position on the swing/bench. A nice change of pace.

   Speaking of the intentional taking of outfit photos... I've slowly over time become more comfortable with this concept. The last time we did this on a visit to my in-laws I was actually embarrassed to admit out loud exactly why we were going for a walk. Bastian was younger and harder to bring along for these sorts of endeavors but it was really nice out and I felt that while we needed to provide an explanation for why we weren't bringing him along for a few fun moments in the sun, I still couldn't bring myself to say "we're really only going out to photograph my outfit". It felt silly... frivolous and honestly a bit vain. I never think that of other women crafting together their own editorial like content for their blogs or what-have you... but I've always been afraid that someone would think that of me. "What is this crazy woman doing walking with her family down the sidewalk wearing 6.5 inch boots covered in spikes, striking poses instead of playing with her kid? How selfish!"

   I've come to terms with this a bit more over time, and while I still feel a little self conscious when someone passes us on foot on the same side of the street I am better able to shrug it off. The truth is, I spend the majority of my time being a pretty serious and intense person. I put a lot of thought into my parenting, my writing, my marriage, just about every aspect of my life. Fashion is an outlet that I can feel expressive and somewhat artistic without having to over think things. If someone happens by and sees only the snapshot of my life in which my husband is taking snapshots of me like some crazies on the street, and they make a snap judgement? Well then that's not really my problem is it? Refusing be seen enjoying fashion in an attempt to be taken more seriously as a human being, as a woman, doesn't really do anything to dispel the myth that all women with a love for clothes and makeup are inherently shallow, now does it? Hiding isn't helping anyone.

   Besides... moments like these on our walks happen just as frequently as the mock glamor shot pose moments. In the midst of the "selfishness" of asking the husband to aim that camera at me, we laugh together as a family. And we get more precious family "outtakes" than serious outfit post fodder anyways. And on the bonus.... the husband is getting pretty amazing at this photo taking thing isn't he?

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