Brief Life Update

   I haven't been posting much lately... and really, my posting frequency has gone down steadily over this past year despite every intention for it to be the opposite of that (although at least from my own self-assessment I do believe the quality of the content has improved). I've given a few reasons here and there. They were honest, but they weren't the whole story. The whole story is that I have a predisposition toward a commonly misunderstood mental illness called depression. You've all heard of it, and I'm sure some of my readers have experienced it. It is different for each person in the way that it manifests. For me, this decade since my first major depressive episode have been spent being constantly on guard against the natural slant of my own mind.

   Recently, it would seem that I let my guard down a tad too much... It's back. And I am seeking treatment. No need to worry. But, I am still finding it incredibly difficult to engage in the activities that normally bring me joy and fulfillment. This includes my writing. For that I am sorry.

  I will push through. And I will write when and where I can. This topic in particular is near and dear to my heart and I long to share this experience I'm going through with the world around me, because it's important. Not because it's me, but because it's so, so many other people too. People who on top of their internal suffering, fear an unnecessary negative stigma that may increase their already existing paralysis enough to prevent them from getting help. Or from admitting, even to themselves, that they need, it.

   So I'll do my best to be painfully honest through this ordeal. I'll do my best to resist the overwhelming urge to sit in silence. Because depression is a disease that feeds itself with it's self-created desire to stay sick. And I'm not going to give it that fuel.

Much love to you all,

Cat

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