I'm not going to lie, my very first reaction was joy.
I didn't think twice, it was news worthy of celebration.
I also don't intend to hide the fact that I still sort of feel like cheering, which is very different from breathing a sigh of relief... and for that I feel a little guilty. Relief makes sense. Actually, I identify with almost all of the reactions I've witnessed to some extent however big or small, so in that way joy, excitement, worry, fear, skepticism, etc. all make sense. To me anyway. But since sleeping on it I'm rethinking my celebratory stance.
Yes. I am thrilled that justice was served by those whose calling it was to do so.
At the same time it was not my calling. My calling is to love my enemies while at the same time supporting justice carried out by the authorities as was ordained by God (which was described so eloquently in this article). I have not the perspective to judge, and joy over the death, and subsequent eternal suffering, of a fellow fallen human seems wrong. Is wrong.
Yet, how then do I honor those whose mission it was while still honoring the loss of a human life. How do I separate my feelings of relief at justice served from all of my other feelings.
Feelings of anger over the lives Osama took.
Feelings of joy for the lives that can no longer be taken at his hands.
Feelings of hate toward a man who caused so much pain and destruction.
Feelings of skepticism that this is all as it seems. Distrust in our media and our government.
Feelings of fear that this single battle won will lull us into a false sense of security making us easier targets for attacks from a multitude of different enemies, internal and external.
Feelings of paranoia that perhaps this news was intended for the purpose mentioned above (the makings of a conspiracy theorist right here people...)
Feelings of pride in, and gratitude for our troops, and their families who make the biggest of sacrifices every day to preserve our freedom and safety from threats like Bin Laden and Al Qaeda
And, of course, as mentioned from the start, feelings of downright joy. All of these thoughts and emotions floating around in my mind at once bumping into each other wreaking havoc on my sense of mental and gastrointestinal stability. My stomach feels today the same as it did last night during our daring adventure on the gravitron machine.
So what is a woman to do?
For now the only thing I know to do is pray, focus on the positive and remind everyone that I can what a blessing it is to live in the good old U S of A... and what is more American than cotton candy and funnel cakes?? Nothing I tell you. That's what!
So sit back, relax and enjoy these awesome carnival photos I snapped last night!
There she is folks, the best friend a lady could ever ask for! |
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